just as i have expected... things went bad again yesterday.. why do we always freaking have to fight?? im so exhausted already.. and it always seems like its my fault.. !! feels like giving up already..

work?? still the same old thing again.,. not that stress really.. its been bearable.. i kinda like the job though the pay is just a pittance.. but the most that i freakingly hate is my tuitions.. why do i have to do these tuitions... MONEY!!!!! oh man!! why do i have to subdue myself to this shit just for money sake? what the fcuk have gone into me...?? i want my life back...

~~nobody wants to share.. nobody's seems to care.. about ME!!~~

hey people... ok here's a new entry after so long.. been so busy catching up with my life let alone people's life..

as you all know from my previous entries..( sorry to those who cant read malay, i'll explain to you when we meet up yah?? ).. i've been at my best medicating my relationship that had turn sour.. thanks to myself and him.. it seems that people just dont treasure and tend to take things for granted if we're constantly by their side.. i've made my stand though.. to him.. and i'm so glad that things turned out fine.. i am happy now with the state of our relationship going on well. i hope it'll last till a long long time.. its so tiring to just keep on mending a broken heart.

This week.. is gonna be the last week that im able to see my love. Soon after.. he's gonna study for his gruelling exams.. and i'm left all alone again.. but its ok though.. i can hold on.. i can bear all hardships.. he's studying for the better of our life.. and may i repeat its OUR life.. just hope that he understands that.. that he sees that im doing all these for us.. i really praye that our relationship can stand the test of time.. for i cant bear falling apart with you dear...

``It's not just ((ME)) anymore, it's ((US))``

Kenapa diri ini selalu disisirkan? kenapa aku yang asyik perlu bertimbang rasa? Sampai bilakah aku akan dpt rasa diri ini dihormati..diperlukan..disayangi oleh seseorg.. kenapa hidup aku slalu ditimpa bencana dan malapetaka dunia? Apakah tuhan saja mahu menduga? kenapa harus aku harungi liku2 hidup yg slalu membuatkan aku rasa tersisir? kepada siapakah yg dpt aku leraikan rahsiahati yg telah lama terbuku dikalbu? apakah aku tidak diperlukan lagi! apakah aku ini insan yg hanya mampu menagih kasih sayang seseorg insan! apakah aku ini mualaf yg byk menyusahkan! maafkan aku jikalau aku duduk menumpang kasih sayang kau.. tidak sama skali aku berhasrat utk menyesakkan kehidupan kau sehingga terlintas difikiran kau yg aku ini terlalu insecure.

Apakah aku tidak layak bertahta dihati kau? adakah aku ini begitu membosankan. apakah aku ini tidak sesuai utk memiliki kebahagiaan duniawi!! kenapa harus AKU?? AKU yang harus menanggung derita? Aku sayu melihat teman2ku yg mempunyai semuanya.. kebahagiaan hidup dgn famili yg sepadu, karier yg mantap, teman hidup yg setia - sempurna seadanya. tapi mengapa tidak dgn aku? apakah sudah suratan azali yg aku mempunyai kehidupan seperti ini.. hina sgtkah aku ini?


~~Aku PASRAH!!!