Its been so long since ive blog. Ive always wanted to blog but when i see the computer by my bedside.. my mind just say go to sleep fiza.. go to sleep.. so i did.. but now its 6.10pm and its too early to sleep. my mind tells me to go blog.. so i did... huehueheuhue...

All right, so lets starts from where we left? and where were we? oh yah, my work place!!

ok.. my work place is gonna have a lunch gathering for the opening of CARE II in NUS CARE for the holding of rabbits, guinea pigs and trishu( if i got that right) its a kinda squirrel so small but agile.. haiyo, its so hard to catch it.. take like a good few hours.. huehue.. niway, my boss asked my dad to cater the lunch.. The staffs were so excited knowing that my dad's cooking.. even during Razali's farewell function and the food was'nt to their liking.. (the food was from other catering coz my dad's hospitalized) and they said it out loud that my dad's cooking is so much nicer. hueheuhue.. and now they keep asking what's in store this time... huehue..kinda funny la.. the anticipation they're going through.. everyone is like coming down.. from NUS AHU, NUS sAHU and NUS Lab Animal Centre. Prof Yap is coming too... so exciting. And now my dad is like so nervous.. everything he does is like so wrong.. kesian ayah.. Hope everything turns out well this thursday!! *sheeshz*

Oh yah.. my fam is so going to kampung this 25th. i wanna follow.. but im working.. how to go? can take leave, but cannot coz im like in charge of the two poly students and they're in the mid of their final year project and im kinda assisting them. so how.. and that new temp staff, she's under me.. how to delegate work to her.. so hard.. she's like so new.. know nuts.. * sheeshz* im so gonna kena tinggal sorang2 lagi.. boring seh.. i want to see that anak mak long nyer hubby tu.. She's married to another woman's husband.. sheeshz.. amik laki org.. i wanna see how great he is.. but it seems like no luck eh.. *bleah*

And and im so broke this month.. mom borrowed near $200 bucks from me. supposedly to return on the 25th of last month.. but till now.. she seemed so quiet.. so hangus ahh... sheeshz.. its ok.. Halalkan ah.. and i spent like $180 bucks on the punjabi dress.. sheeshz.. and another few hundred on the "ang bao".. haiyo... i so broke!!!!!!!!!!!

im so waiting for the christmas sale.. want to buy new perfume.. finished my jennifer lopez already or rather my sista, nana, she finished it.. "you drink it or what ah nana?" sheeshz.. and i want to check out Island Shop. they usually have very nice clothes on offer during christmas sale. And i wanna buy the jacket at Mango. its selling at 30% discount. so cool... but now no money... so how?? dream on aje la... Sheeshz.. :(

i realised that my bday is like just a week after my new found friend's, Farihah @ pinkzhippie. Her bday falls on the 24th of Dec. We're saggitarius.. i think la.. right anot?? hehuehuehue... think im gonna buy you a pressie babe.. you wait ah.. this month money not enough.. heuhue.. shesshz... (so many sheeshz in this entry ah...) sheeshz!

ok la ok la... im going to jalan raya... dad's calling... ciaoz...

huehuehue... nak step konon... huhuehueu..

This week has been a roller coaster ride for me.

Its a one woman show at work today. All the bosses have gone for a seminar. So left the mini-boss and that's me!

*Phew*Didnt know that being a boss can be so difficult. All the time it's Fiza here, Fiza there..

Fiza how ah??
Fiza, like this can or not??
Fiza, what you want me to do now??
Fiza, can i take time off??
Fiza, can i go back at 3pm??
Fiza, the bottle washer machine's spoil..
Fiza, can you check the order list??
Fiza, can you stock check the carcasses??
Fiza, the Zoo Man's here..
Fiza, the birdpark call..
Fiza, small sized gloves finished already.
Fiza, how to see the plug?
Fiza, i need more rats for testing..
Fiza, the mice not enough for supply..
Fiza, cannot wash off the IVC pipe..
Fiza, the isolator's glove got hole already..
Fiza ... Fiza.... Fizaa........

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Stop!!!

For a moment, i lost my orientation. Luckily found myself back and its

Lina, go mend the isolator's glove..
Aru, help the two poly students to wash the pipe..
Sarika, please order some more gloves..
Smile at the Zoo people and tell them to take their time choosing their dead rats/mice.
Call the service man to come on Monday and service bottle washer.
Cancelled those orders that cannot be supplied.
Told the ah-sohs, that if they want to leave early.. i'll still have to record down who "cabut".

In the end, everything went just fine. But of course with blunders here and there..

Blunder No 1
--------------
Poly students: "Fiza, how to see if the rats are mated?"
Fiza: "Very Easy. If the rats are mated, you'll see a plug in the vagina."
Poly students: " Fiza, we're not sure leh. Can help us to see whether there's any plug or not?"
Fiza: "Yah sure.. Come, just tilt the tail to expose the genitals, try to open up the vagina to see if any plug has been inserted in by the male. That will show that they've mated."
Fiza: "See, there's something inside.. You all can see or not?"
Poly students: "Fiza, isnt that the anus you're looking at?"
Fiza: "Errr....?????"

Blunder no 2
-------------
Engineer: "Xcuse me, do you have ladder?"
Fiza: "Leather? I dont think we have any leather here. We dont use it.Wait ah, i'll go and ask my senior. "
Fiza: " Swee huat, do we have any leather here or not??"
Swee Huat: " Of course la, ladder's in the store room."
Fiza: " huhh?? We got leather meh?? we keep in store room??
SH: " yeah la, you ah.. very obvious what?"
Fiza: "and how does the leather looks like?"
SH & Engineer: ???!!!???

Fiza goes into the store room.. looks left, looks right...
An attendant came into the store room..

Fiza:"Cik Jo, do you know where's the leather? SH says its in the store room."
Cik Jo: " There, beside you only what? SO big also cannot see ah??"
Fiza turned and she saw: "huhh??? LADDER?? i thought LEATHER..ceh~!"
Cik Jo: "What for an engineer needs a leather?? To spank you with??"
Fiza: "Errr....????"

7 things that scares me:-

1. Ghost/Supernatural forces
2. Injections
3. Interviews
4. Losing anyone whom i hold on dearly
5. Falling tremendously ill/ Death
6. Creepy Crawlies
7. Failure in life

7 things I like most:-

1. My dad, Mom, siblings
2. Alfian
3. Computers w internet access
4. Smile & Crack Jokes
5. Security & to be loved/wanted
6. Being complimented for things that I've done
7. Holidaying/ travelling w my fam' and beloved

7 most important things in my room:-

1. HP
2. Hamsters
3. Bed/comforter/pillows & bolster
4. HP Charger
5. Novel
6. Fan ( make it the no 1 on the list)
7. Mirror/Dressing table

7 random facts about me:-

1. Im getting fatter and fatter day by day
2. I teach tuitions everyday after work
3. At times, I work 7 days per week
4. I've been in love w Alfian for 6 years, in relationship w him for 5yr ++
5. Emotional, cry easily, soft hearted
6. Forgiving
7. When I was 7 yrs old, Inserted a watermelon seed in my left ear and left it to germinate before going to doctor and suck that damn thing out. huehuehue

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. Travelling to all the 7 wonders of the World w my loved ones.
2. Be married and have lotsa kids.
3. Be a successful career woman and yet a perfect wife to my hubby.
4. Spending more time with fam'.
5. Khatam Quran once again.
6. Swear i'll not miss sholat subuh
7. Repent ( i guess when you know you're dying, that's the first thing that will come to mind right?)

7 things I can't do:-

1. Of course the basics (smoke, drinks, sleeps ard, eat pork)
2. Watch anything horror, see any gross picture.
3. Continued living my life knowing i've been cheated on.
4. Cant be mad w Alfian for more than a week.
5. Cant sleep without hearing Alfian's voice and not seeing my parents before sleeping.
6. Cant do major operations like how a vet does. ( e smell of blood stinks!!)
7. Cant do a single thing right knowing that any of my loved ones in dander.

7 words I say most:-

1. Adapavviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
2. Ntah la.. malas nak ckp lagi
3. Ok la, ok la, ok la..
4. tahu takpe..
5. sigh!!
6. Can you help me do ........
7. aiyah... today got tuition.

Cinta yang terindah
**********************

Mengingati awal perjumpaan kita dulu
Segar dalam ingatanku, dikala itu
Begitu salah tingkah laku ku dihadapanmu
Seperti kemarin saja kejadian itu berlalu

Mengenangkan kembali perjalanan cinta ini
Tak semuanya mudah untuk dilalui
Kadang terlalu jauh dan mendaki
Adakalanya begitu penuh onak dan duri

Merenungkan kembali semuanya
Adakalanya kau membuatkanku kecewa
Adakalanya membuatkanku berduka
Namun tak pernah ku hiraukan semua itu, demi kasih kita

Mengangankan hari esok bersamamu
Tiada lagi keraguan didalam jiwaku
Walaupun kutahu banyak lagi tempat untuk berteduh
Sesungguhnya engkaulah pelabuhan terakhirku

Akan ku terus menantimu wahai Dewa
Menantimu dengan sejuta kasih dan cinta
Kan kupersembahkan semua cinta yang kupunya
Untukmu kekasih yang selalu setia

Agar tidak lagi aku keseorangan
Agar tidak lagi aku diburu kesepian
Walaupun nanti kau tidak memilihku sebagai teman
Walaupun nanti Penantian ini berakhir dengan kenangan

Fiza is a HAPPY lady today.

The date with my love was so therapeutic. Thanks dear for the lovely chat. I feel so lucky to have known you. Your care, patience, intelligence and jokes never fail to made me feel that im such a lucky girl to have made you mine. Your existence really made me realise that life is such a wondrous thing.

Work went well today. Accomplished so much. *Phew* Im really beginning to feel comfortable with the two poly students. They're a lovely bunch though they can be rather dependable at times. Oh well, i was dependable too when i was their age. I wonder if i behave like them when i was under industrial attachment back then in poly. Sheeshz!! :) But they're cool really. Its nice to mingle with youngsters once in a while. They make you feel energised and chatty and being more confident and laughing out loud in public. God! how i miss those times in poly with THE CLASS. the class that never fails to make the lecturers shake their head. hehuehuehue...

Oh yah! i read two books in 2 weeks. How's that for a change? Yeah, i was so busy with work and tuitions, i have no time to read books. But now, i can take my own sweet time reading novels and starting on my ALAT lecture notes. Life's gonna be slow and easy till end of the year. I hope!! heuheuheue...

**Fiza cried her eyes out**

Sheeshhz!!! What's happening! She came again into my life. Last time, you tried to take my boyfriend and now my job! I hate you woman! why must you keep harassing my life. Arghhh!!

But im so not gonna be affected by you, woman! We shall see! Have loads of things that i can rejoice about. Those are:

1) Break fast with my girls @ delifrance on 13/10/05

• We've had so much fun talking we didnt even realise that we've talked for about 4 hours. Its so fun catching up on each other once again. I felt so happy! hee..Wanted to shop for my Hari Raya shoes and bag. But obviously everything was forgotten once i saw the two of them.
• Wanni looked so petite and thin. God! Girl, you betta put on some weight or im gonna look so large sitting beside you. hee..
• Chunyan told us about her accident. Phew, she's one lucky girl, i tell you. It could have been worse. She torn her toe, went for two surgeries and voila, she's still as beautiful as i've always known her to be.
• I wore a fuschia long skirt and black top, put on a lil' make up and everyone at work was go go ga ga about me looking so fine. Even the two engineers were like looking twice when they saw me. ((I know im sloppy but i can look nice when i doll myself up)) hee..

2) Told my love that apparently his friendster fren came over to apply for a position at CARE.

• Was so down that i saw her once again. God! how am i gonna work with somebody whom i hate so much. There's already one big bad black wolf in the office. I dont need one more in the lab. Sheeeshz!! Work's gonna be tough then. Hope she wont get the position. Sheeshz.. ((Common' Fiza, you've got to be professional in this matter. Ahhhh.. wokey, i'll try but i wont promise anything.. anything at all)) sheeshz..
• My love msg me once he knew about it. He said " Hey, Im yours!" Aint it sweet? Thanks Darling. You really understand me so much.
• Aisah said that she's OK, but a little KO. hee.. She thinks im better. yay!

3) Love came to see me the night.

• He was so worried if im saddened about the matter. Aint it sweeter? hee..
• He listened to all that ive said. He's a darlin'.
• We're meeting each other again.. the following day. And that's today.. so here im goona end my entry and getting ready to see him.. He who loves me still...

And you too dear!!

I was in delightful spirits today...

Ive accomplished so many things.. things which i wanted to get them over and done with..

So happy that i helped a pregnant woman and her twin sons crossed the road. I pushed the pram for her... hee.. Was kinda akward initially but she seemed glad that someone helped i think.. though she was very shocked when i approached her... she thought i was a pick pocket.. hehe..

I mean.. common' its not a time to be shy and feeling akward no more... a pregnant lady is in need. why not help?? hee.. If im pregnant, and am in her position, i would want someone to help me.

Oh yah, talking about pregnancy, yesterday, me and ma sis.. went to surf at this website... its our friend's portfolio. He's a photojournalist for wedding couples...

Here's some of the pics that i personally love. They are so symbolic... See em' fer yourself..

Mas kawin digubah seri

Air mawar segar mewangi

Pelamin tersergah berwarna-warni

Menjadi raja & permaisuri sehari

Raja tampan keris di tepi

Cincin ikatan tersarung di jari

Antara dua insan yg mencintai

So magical.. That's the Flame of Love..

**Fizah lets out a huge PHEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!**

Finally, my nightmares are OVER!!

my tuitions are finally reduced to one... syafiq... but teaching him is pure heaven.. he's a bright child..

JW is back from china. That means less work for me... Or not.. well maybe a little.. gee..

I think i was rather down today and didnt talk much. Wasnt the real me @ work.. Aisah saw through me and asked me into the office.. She said that whatever's not satisfactory to the laboratory principles should be made known to her.. literally meaning if any senior staff try to bully me once again.. she must know immediately.. she told me not to suffer in silence. She thought that i was demoralized and am in low spirits to work recently... she thought it's because of the procrastinating promotion and the increase in bullies @ work... thank god she realised.. well at least i scored some good point on the upcoming staff's appraisal right?? Wrong!! what if she sees that as a weakness of not being able to stand up for what's right?? *sigh*

hee... niway she gave me a pat on the back and said.. she knows what's going through my mind.. and that she understands.. gee.. She knows so much... i hope things turns out better tomorrow and the days that follow.

What does life hold in store for me? Will I reach my dreams? Live happily?

Sometimes I Feel
Sometimes I feel so alone but I know I'm not.
Sometimes I feel like I have no friends when I have so many.
Sometimes I feel like no one cares when I know so many do care.
Sometimes I feel like i'll never have anyone of my own when I know I will.
Sometimes I feel like...

I need you...
I need your strong arms around me.
I need to feel the gentle warmth of your cheek next to mine.
I need the closeness of you, the safety of you.
I feel such peace and contentment and joy with the nearness of you.
Without you, I feel the chill of indifference.
I feel the insecurities of a painful past.
I feel lost, searching for a warm place to lay my tired head.
I feel the weight of the world forcing me on my bended knees.
I feel such hopelessness and defeat.
To be a whole, complete person,
I need your true and honest love,
I need you,

Always.

Im living my life the way i didnt like it... Didnt like it... Didnt like it at all...

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want.And that's marriage - with the right person.You're serious about settling down some time soon.Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's" Your Ideal Relationship?

HUHHHHH???

Sure anot?? gee...Yeah the thought has came across my mind before but not really seriously planning or what.. still dreaming about it la... my baby's not ready yet.. we still have a long way to g... Dating is fun what??

**Fizah let out a heavy breath..**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Let's start off with what happened yesterday.

At work, Aisah asked me to help her find a present for Razali's farewell party as a token of appreciation for his service in NUS for many many years long. i thought of a decent watch but aisah didnt really like the idea. she said that Razali wont appreciate it. She said that he's the "selenge" type. i was very upset when she said that. i mean who is she to say people "selenge" or not right? aisah thought of a buying a photo frame and inserting old photos of the him and the staffs at LAC. so i went to causeway point with my mom in search of a nice photo frame.. i saw this really chic "expensive"-looking solid wood photo frame at Precious Thoughts and without thinking further.. i bought it. Then me and mom went to BK and had our dinner. It was fun. The dinner i mean.. it's been long since me and mom spent time together. OK.. so then we went back home and when i wanted to put the photo in the frame.. i realised that ive bought the wrong size.. the frame is for 5R photo but my photo is size 3R. so what i did was to put two 3R photo together. it looked pretty ok i guess. Well, at least it covered my blunder.. Luckily.. *Phew*

Wokey, so today, i woke up late.. and had to take my own transport.. Reached @ 8.30am so had no time for breakfast. Went into office only to be told that another staff "see doctor". Damn it!! That means its my turn to go cover his duty in the wash area to "korek Sai".. whatever!! at 11.30am, off we went to Sembawang, LAC for the farewell party. I saw Razali.. sheeshz.. now i know why aisah said that he's a selenge.. he really is.. i mean its not the selenge- selenge type.. its more of like he's very in his own world. like he's in a daze. he doesnt respond to people around him. its like his eyes's looking into space.. the staffs there said that he was disturbed by spirits..and he would just scream at any time.. at the top of his voice saying that he doesnt want to be disturbed anymore.. good gracious.. i wonder who he's talking to.. Aisah told me that that's the reason why he was retrenched.. poor guy.. he looked very decent.. *sigh*

oh no... im late for tuition again.. will update again if ive time today... bye..

I am so tired..

I am so tired..

I am so tired..

Horrayyy!!! Huwowwwwww!!!!!!! My date yesterday with alfian was sooooo good.. i just couldnt start describing how much we've bonded.. and how much we've enjoyed ourselves so thoroughly.. Yayy!! At long last, i experienced the date i've always been longing for so long. Thanks dear for making me so happy yesterday though i had to wait for you for 2 hours long. BUT it all worth it.. I was so damnnnnn tired afters.. The sleep following it was so peaceful, calm and serene.. You can practically see me smile whilst sleeping.

Therefore today, i woke up feeling refreshed, cant wait to start the day. Oh what sweet dreams i had yesterday.. the hot sun, the soft sand, the sparkling clear blue sea, the corals, the calming blue sky, the shades, the straw hat, and of course my hot man sipping ice water.. huwowwwwwwwwwww....

Anyway, a call @ 6.30am stopped all my fantasy. My boss called and said that one of the staffs called in sick. so two down and now one down.. what else can be so boring on a monday morning. so i went out of my house feeling cheery bubbly and very enthusiastic to start the day. But when i reached Kranji MRT, another 2 of the staffs reported MC again. ok! there goes my mood , my fantasy, my everything. coz why? coz that means that i had to 'pa kau liao'everything. right from the packing, to the washing bay, to the mice room, to the rat room. And if that's not enough, the taiwan visitors had to come today and of course i had to leave my work and entertain them.. luckily there was aisah to help bring them around. Sheeshz...

Errrrrr.... i forgot to check the time.. im running late for my tuition.. sheeshz.....

So here i am at my office on a saturday morning.. *sigh*

My duties are done but i cant go back yet coz i've to wait for the electrician to finish doing his wiring and return me the switch room key. That explained why i have the time to update on my blog.

My weekend gonna be a fast one... lets see.. tomorrow i'll have to come to work *again* and then to tuition *again* and then go out with darling. i hope we'll have a fun time together. i need to de-stress myself. hmm... when was the last time i watch a movie?? errr... nah i cant remember.. months ago maybe.. sheeshz..

Wokey.. here comes Thiru the electrician.

Im off to tuition now.. sheeshz..

- the bus ride's the only thing why i enjoyed going to work.. sheeshz..

Well... what can i say.

This whole week has been very frantic for me. An emotional, really take alot from me.. Im so deadbeat from everything that has happened throughout this week.

Firstly, i didnt get the much awaited promotion. Common' man.. i deserved it. i worked my ass off.. Bosses said it'll have to wait till december. Oh what ever..

Secondly, apart from my work duties.. im now in charge of two temasek poly students on attachment for a period of 3 months. Gosh, if my work load is not suffocating me already, you've to add on to my work load. Sobz. Next week will be hell coz Swee Huat's on leave for a week and JW is still on leave whole lot of next week. Only ME.. ive got no leave.. or better well rephrase it.. i cant take leave. how unfair. Sheeshz..

Im really left with no energy at all to do tuitions. have been cancelling all my tuitions for this week. And tomorrow's the Doa Selamat for my dad at my home.. i'll have to help out. But that will have to be after im off to work then to tuition then come home. There goes my much awaited date with my love. Sheeshzz...

Everytime when i post anything on this bloggie.. it took me quite some time to ponder on the stuffs that i went through for the day and what i wanted to do for the day but have no time.. or rather no opportunities to do so. Im tired.. as a whole.. I barely have any time for myself. I need a long break. Away from this fast-paced country.. away from any demands.. i just want to do something without thinking of whether i would be wasting my time and then started doing my first task on my to-do list.. I feel like im a robot. i have been programmed to do this and that against my will. Yeah.. im stressed. Sheeeeeeeeeeshz..

Let's start off with what i did today,

• Wake up.
• Went to work.
• Come home.
• Eat dinner.
• Went for tuition at 6pm.
• Went for another tuition at 8pm.
• Reached home, sit infront of pc blogging.

What i really wanted to do today,

• Say good morning to my dad.
• Spend time with family, talk about anything.. just family bonding after work.
• Have a slow quiet dinner with family.
• Relax and watch TV.
• Catch up with sister's revision for O level.
• Catch up with my mom and bro.
• Pampering myself with the body lotion i bought 3 or 4 months ago which is still left untouched.
• Say good night to my fam, kiss my dad and mom.

I thought i needed some quality time with my family which i think i havent been having. But everytime when i wanted to do something like that..i realise that my time are preoccupied with work and tuitions. I wanted to have a balanced lifestyle but i just cant dismiss the tuitions and all.. i needed the cash. Yes! Its true that money is'nt everything. But if you look at it in another way, money really makes the world go round. Though money can never be enough for anyone, having more money to spend and save can really save a person in times of difficulties.

I miss my fam'. Really.

Unluck-iest Day of the Year

Early morning i woke up.. My flu has worsen.. I feel so weak.. I am sick.

At work, my toenail was broken into two with the broken nail still loosely pasted on the flesh. It made me so painful to just walk, let alone wearing lab boots. Gosh it hurts so much. I was loading a trolley with beddings and pellet to be pushed into the animal room. I wasnt aware that the one of the trolley's wheels was very loose. I loaded it full, probably 50kg of bags or more. While i was pushing it into the mice room, the loose wheel making it harder to control so.. you guessed it.. the wheel stopper got hooked on to my toes, dragging me with it for a few seconds. There goes my tiny toe. Excruciating Pain!

Then while i was replacing the old rat breeders in the isolators.. one of the rats, a male rat, weighing probably 5kg bit through the biohazard plastic bag which it was in and got freed. It took me a good 2++ hours to catch it in the isolator. Not an easy job at all considering the limited length of the gloves.. I caught it in the end and when i passed it to my assistant, he was bitten by that Little Mischevious Male Rat. It was a very deep cut. The rat bit through the thick plastic gloves. EWW... painful. Blood was oozing out from my assistant's palm non stop. I treated his wound, got it all wrapped up. Man, i feel so guilty. "So sorry Tor Lee. wo bu shi ku yi de!! Mee Lubok for you tomorrow ok?" huehue..

Just because of a stupid rat and a stupid trolley.. im so behind time. To make things worse, my boss was on course so i have to cover her duties as well. Shucks man. So many responsibilities.. so little salary. I'd better get a promotion soon or else im outta CARE, running over to BIOPOLIS. huehue.. my boss would cut my head off if she sees this entry.

Oh well, nobody's perfect!

Today was ok for me. My sore throat is getting better though my blocked nose still wont go away. CARE is doing well today, did supply of rats and mice and nothing went wrong. No complaints what so ever. Everything went smoothly till the time i knocked off from work. I saw this little brown pig from the across the road and it was coming at me. Terrified as i was, i ran back to CARE. I didnt know what happened to that little pig after that. The AVA might have gotten rid of it or something ((think suckling pig)).. huehue.. Thank god! No way am i gonna risk losing my life over that piggie. Sheeshz! =P. I thought everything has been settled last sunday but obviously nothing has been done.


See.. last sunday, i went to work to do OT (yeah it sucks.. working 7 days per week.. *Sigh*) and during the bus journey at Sungei Gedong Camp.. 3 little pigs came out from the side bushes, crossing the road so fast that the bus driver couldnt brake in time. It was so sudden that everything happened in a split of a second:- the bus ran over two of the pigs while one of the pigs obviously, the cleverest among them, retreated and was saved. It must have been the one i saw just now though it looked alot bigger now. And scary.. The other two were unfortunately "sacrificed?" wahahaha.. with the interiors splattered on the road. What gore sight to see on a beautiful sunday morning. I never seen anything like that before in my whole life. It's sad. It made me wonder for awhile. What made the 3 little pigs ran out like that? Running away from the big bad wolf or what? Poor thing.. anyway, the third pig is not so clever after all.. imagine becoming a suckling pig after 3 days of escaping from death.


Now it made me ponder.. does death really come to us? Cant we cheat death? Reminded me of The Final Destination. This is so super scary. Like as though my work place is not scary enough being strategically located near the burial place.. all these natural forces have to come and disturb us. Disturb Me! *sigh* It no wonder after so long of working in my Department.. one by one of the staffs became mentally ill. Swear!! Im not lying. This is so scary. And yeah.. that sick staff.. Razali.. was retrenched last week.. poor thing.. There goes his rice bowl. I wonder if he's ever gonna find another job. So so Sad.


~ Apalah erti kesenangan kalau tidak kecapi kebahagiaan dunia dan akhirat.

finally i can have my boyfriend all to myself. no more silat no more having to share him with his friends. its not that im petty or what but its time that i have HIM all to myself.. he is mine anyway.. as in MINE anyway.. huehuehue.. i miss him dearly.. its true that i see him every weekend.. but i feel that there's no quality time shared between us... but now.. thankfully everything's over and he has return to me ..


this week gonna have a chalet with my friends.. huehuehuehueheuheuhe.. yeah.. but before that im gonna spend an enchanting evening with my beloved man celebrating our 5th year anniversary.. im so anxious about it. its like something we've been waiting for, aint it daRLIn? yokey yokey.. hmm.. but im kinda broke now, can anyone spare me some money now???? oh well... i guess we're just gonna spend the evening as simple as possible.. nothing so lavish.. its how we spend the evening that counts right? still have no plan right now.. but i'll think of something soon.. its gonna be a night so memorable that we're gonna tell our children how loving we are...right dear...


hueheuhue.. pray for me gerls.. i want this evening to work out smoothly for both of us..


~~ The Special day is so near, I can smell the roses in the air...

i never expected things to go this way. all was going fine until it all started again..i really dont know what went wrong.. is it me? is it my fault? but why does it always have to be my fault? am i really that detestable? really that horrible a person? why do you like me then? i dont want things to be this way.. why must it turn out like this... im tired.. i wanted us to be happy.. not to be at loggerhead all the times.. i wanted to be pampered.. i wanted your care and your touch.. i yearn the way you caress my hair.. i miss the way you look deeply into my eyes.. holding my chin and smile sincerely... i love the way you hug me and constantly encouraging me to improve on myself.. i need the assurance you always give me.. i need you.. i really need you.. but why of all the times when i need you the most.. you're not there.. you didnt do all the things that you did best. is it because of me? is it caused by me? i know im not the easiest person to get along with.. and so.. i want say that im sorry.. im sorry for everything that ive caused you..

- i know my flaws.. i know i have many of them..